Tough Times – Tough Measures
How having the correct mental attitudes and physical precautions have to be established. If these become unmanageable, different techniques are discussed on how to end the affair or should you be discovered, how to deal with your spouse and save your marriage (if you so choose).
Affair’s are adventures that should be exciting and enjoyable. Yet, there’s a serious and potentially dangerous side to every affair that must be dealt with. This involves the realities of mental stress and physical disease.
While some people choose to ignore or deny these possibilities, they certainly do exist. I’ve heard stories of people near mental collapse from keeping up a charade for too long and others, upon discovery, suffering tremendous emotional torment. The worse stories are those where sexually transmitted diseases have been contracted, leaving no alternative but to confess what’s been going on.
In reading this chapter, I want you to go under the assumption that something can and will go wrong. It certainly may not, but if you operate under a worst case scenario, you’ll help to avert some very harmful threats to not only you but your spouse as well. I don’t believe that any person in their right mind intentionally looks to hurt themselves or anyone else. Having an affair doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person. Just an unfulfilled one.
Each part of this section affects you, your lover and spouse. Always keep the contents of this chapter in your mind. It can help save everyone a tremendous amount of grief.
The medium term affair. Setting up the finale
1. Don’t be the one to initiate any meetings.
2. Become less accessible. Use any rational excuse you can as to why you can’t meet.
3. Break meetings at the last minute. Use business or personal problems as an excuse.
4. Make the meetings shorter and shorter.
5. Slow down the sex and the passion. This should be easy to do since you don’t want to be there anyway.
Why men don’t leave.
As previously described, a man by his basic nature will be more immediately outraged and vindictive than a woman. Most men can’t live with the thought of another man having been “inside” their wife. Obviously, this isn’t going to be the case with all men and they too will have underlying factors influencing their decisions. Many of these sound similar as to what was said for a woman.
Financial Reasons – A tale of two men. One discovered his wife had cheated and refused to leave her because of he couldn’t afford it. Another guy in the same predicament, wouldn’t leave because he didn’t want to lose his house and give her half of the money he had. Either way you look at it, money again is the great motivator in keeping him at home.
Family Reasons – Another wronged husband said he wouldn’t leave because of his children. He felt that since he was more of the stable force in the family it was important that he be there for them. Since they were young he felt he had no choice. If they were older, he might have thought differently.
