should i ask my spouse of past sexuall encounters with some of my friends (married at the time) before we met?
I do not trust him that his only whenever my friends come to visit or meet us at a party I feel uncomfortable because of how they speak of her with other men or to talk about the past or try to flirt. i wouldnt leave his past as I have my own past, but I do keep InTouch with my past. but the lack of whether it is true, if she slept with married men before we met while she continues InTouch with them makes me loose sleep. and also I apologize for not attending partes or keeping InTouch with the only friends who are my country men that we are in a country étranger.j ‘ve got to know my friends said she and I knew of his involvement with them after our marriage I’ve encountered in a foreign country where I am residing thats why I was not able to know its past. Thank you all for your Coments
so you are telling the world that you are set to marry a woman who has in the past had relations with your married friends? wow, good luck on that one
Why did you marry her if you knew this???????? And now you are loosing sleep!!! And it is bothering you NOW!!!!!
By the sounds of things you need to find new friends. Like you say we all have a past including you, as to your so called friends, are they really so good that they chat her up in your company?
Ditch them and make a life with your wife, they sound like losers.
It sounds to me like you need to have the heart-to-heart with her that you should have had before you made her your spouse.
You also need to tell your friends that you don’t like the way they talk about her and to stop chatting her up (with friends like that….).
Ask her if you feel a need to know. However, think about how uncomfortable you will be with her around your friends when she admits it. Keep in mind that when you ask her not communicate with the men she has screwed (and you know you will), it will open a whole new chapter. If she truly has messed with these married men and is still “chatting it up” with them, she had a good time screwing someone else’s husband and doesn’t regret it. You have to figure out how much you want to know. Your friends need to back off and treat her like YOUR wife not their ex-sexual toy.
I would suggest you talk to her about it — but not to ask for details, because that will be way more information than you really want…instead, tell her how you feel (honesty is best with women). If I were you, I would tell her that you don’t want to know details, but if it is the situation that she is putting you in the place where she’s hanging around with people who she’s slept with (and they’re going to naturally continue to flirt with her since they were once on that level), that she should stop putting you in that situation because it is uncomfortable. I’m sure if it were the other way around, she would feel the same way. If she needs attention that badly that she is going to ignore your feelings, then you may have made a mistake. (But don’t remember, you may be creating this issue in your head, and it may end up that you’re just being overprotective or jealous. She’s your wife now, you need to find a way to trust each other or the relationship won’t work.) Hope it works out for you!!
Do you think you will feel better knowing your spouse actually did sleep with some of them? Will it make your relationship better? Will it make you want to be around these friends more? The adult thing to do is to tell her that these friends make you feel uncomfortable and why and leave it at that. Good luck.
Oh my…this is a tough issue.. it is like a Pretty Woman Movie remake. Look you need to have a discussion with her…long over do. You need to ask her about the married issue.. Maybe she is not proud of it and she was searching for love and went down the wrong path. If you love each other then you should be able to work this out and you should know if she is being truthful. Let your heart lead the way not the mouths of others. If your friends know you are with her… then why are they talking about her… for every finger you point three are pointing back at you is the saying.. Let judging be up to god not us.. maybe you are avoiding the parties because a part of you realizes it is the company that you wish not to have. Talk to your wife and listen to her… the past may not be what is in her heart as the present.. And if they were married at the time.. how can they be trust worthy to you if they were not to their better half. It may surprise you as to why you feel uncomfortable with them… think about it when you have free time.. I am sure you know the answer. As far as your wife.. you should be able to talk about anything… good or bad and the love should see you through.. god bless..
Time to find a new zip code or a new wife.
Getting to know about your spouse’s past sexual encounters will bleed your heart the more. its past and gone so don’t let that bother you at all. the most important thing is to let your spouse know you feel very uncomfortable when your friends are around and that she shouldn’t at all mingle with them.
She needs to consider your feelings and stop hanging out with these married men even if she says they are only friends. The problem in this relationship is not her so much her past, it is how she undermines your feelings. Sounds to me as she is being selfish and unfair to you. She is putting her friendship with these married men ahead of your feelings and this is not a good thing. She either puts you first or you need to decide on whether you want to spend the rest of your life living in the shadows of her past. Good luck to you!