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Who To Have Your Affair With

Analysis of the most common affair combinations (such as a boss), showing the pro’s and con’s of each.

The stories I’ve heard are endless. It’s been a co-worker, friend, stewardess, boss, sister-in-law, gym acquaintance or total stranger. The list goes on and on with no rhyme or reason and, where the possibility of having an affair seemed unthinkable one day, it became a reality the next. As fate will have it, this could be with someone you didn’t know an hour ago or you’ve known for years. A person who’ll pass through your life giving you nothing more than an evening’s pleasure or someone who could very well change your life forever. Each of us will be driven by our own tastes, desires and needs. As attractive and tempting as a situation may appear, it’s sometimes wiser not to get involved with certain people. Special circumstances make these affairs not only dangerous to your marriage but to your career and friendships as well. Before examining these situations, I give you 2 rules that must always be followed.

Your lover can give you extreme pleasure or create incredible havoc in your life. The movie which best shows how this can happen has to be “Fatal Attraction”. If you’ve never seen it, please do (and not with your spouse). An affair, even if a one shot deal can turn into a real horror show with the wrong person. The bottom line is that in a quick affair you really have no clue who you’re with. Sure they may be witty, attractive and willing. They also may be downright nuts and you’ll have to take steps to protect yourself.

The greatest fear in any affair is having your spouse find out what’s been going on. While there are many ways this can happen, by you having picked an equally vulnerable lover, they shouldn’t be able to hurt you because of their own situations. If they do blow the whistle, both of you will face the same unpleasant fate. It’s sort of like a mutual insurance policy.

1. Have 6 months living expenses in the bank – unemployment doesn’t go that far.

2. Make sure you enjoy your own company – once the word gets out, your co-workers are going to be afraid to talk to you.

3. Get some good suntan lotion and apply liberally – the stares are going to be blistering.

4. Ear plugs will help – especially when you’re in the bathroom stall and no one knows it’s you.

5. Don’t use skin moisturizers – you’ll end up needing a very thick skin.

If you’re going to fool around with the boss.

Have the affair with someone who’s got as much to lose as you do.

If it’s a quickie, tell as little about yourself as possible.

Which Type of Affair Fits You?

Affairs are categorized and explained under six easily recognizable groupings. Advantages and disadvantages of each are noted with a list of differently named affairs highlighting the chapter.

Affairs are like clothes. What looks good on one person looks terrible on another. With so much written, you can go nuts trying to figure out which type of affair you’ve fallen into and where you’re coming from. Psychiatrists, psychologists and marriage counselors give explanations which look deeply into the psyche of philanderers. If you really care to know how your toilet training affects your love life, either do some appropriate reading or engage a professional to psychoanalyze you. The reality of the matter is that as you’re jumping into bed, you’ll be enjoying the scenery and not analyzing why you’re there.

Advantages of short term affairs

1. It’s just about sex and feeling good.

2. It’s usually spur of the moment which adds extra excitement.

3. There’s no commitment or attachment involved.

4. You can let yourself go without fear of repercussion.

5. It’s the easiest to cover-up.

Disadvantages of short – term affairs

None – if done properly

Tough Times – Tough Measures

How having the correct mental attitudes and physical precautions have to be established. If these become unmanageable, different techniques are discussed on how to end the affair or should you be discovered, how to deal with your spouse and save your marriage (if you so choose).

Affair’s are adventures that should be exciting and enjoyable. Yet, there’s a serious and potentially dangerous side to every affair that must be dealt with. This involves the realities of mental stress and physical disease.

While some people choose to ignore or deny these possibilities, they certainly do exist. I’ve heard stories of people near mental collapse from keeping up a charade for too long and others, upon discovery, suffering tremendous emotional torment. The worse stories are those where sexually transmitted diseases have been contracted, leaving no alternative but to confess what’s been going on.

In reading this chapter, I want you to go under the assumption that something can and will go wrong. It certainly may not, but if you operate under a worst case scenario, you’ll help to avert some very harmful threats to not only you but your spouse as well. I don’t believe that any person in their right mind intentionally looks to hurt themselves or anyone else. Having an affair doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person. Just an unfulfilled one.

Each part of this section affects you, your lover and spouse. Always keep the contents of this chapter in your mind. It can help save everyone a tremendous amount of grief.

The medium term affair. Setting up the finale

1. Don’t be the one to initiate any meetings.

2. Become less accessible. Use any rational excuse you can as to why you can’t meet.

3. Break meetings at the last minute. Use business or personal problems as an excuse.

4. Make the meetings shorter and shorter.

5. Slow down the sex and the passion. This should be easy to do since you don’t want to be there anyway.

Why men don’t leave.

As previously described, a man by his basic nature will be more immediately outraged and vindictive than a woman. Most men can’t live with the thought of another man having been “inside” their wife. Obviously, this isn’t going to be the case with all men and they too will have underlying factors influencing their decisions. Many of these sound similar as to what was said for a woman.

Financial Reasons – A tale of two men. One discovered his wife had cheated and refused to leave her because of he couldn’t afford it. Another guy in the same predicament, wouldn’t leave because he didn’t want to lose his house and give her half of the money he had. Either way you look at it, money again is the great motivator in keeping him at home.

Family Reasons – Another wronged husband said he wouldn’t leave because of his children. He felt that since he was more of the stable force in the family it was important that he be there for them. Since they were young he felt he had no choice. If they were older, he might have thought differently.

Secrets of Seduction

How to enjoy an affair, pointing out how different settings and activities can enhance the experience. Actual descriptions of specific encounters, physical layouts and personal attitudes are included.

Places & spaces -toys & games

Since your affair’s going to be an exciting adventure, there’s no better way to accomplish this than through the use of sex toys and props. Well, here they are and by using some different tools and manipulating your environment you’ll be able to create an atmosphere that will indeed help you find that sexual heaven you’ve always been looking for. Start thinking how these affair enhancers can work for you.

Places – by picking specific sites where you will carry out your affair

Spaces – utilizing areas within the places to have fun

Toys- using sex toys to increase your pleasure

Games – playing different games to fulfill a fantasy or increase your pleasure

Always keep in mind as you read this that you’re married and having an affair. If you were single you wouldn’t have to worry quite as much about being discovered. For example, elevator sex may seem like a real turn on, but should you get caught, you’re potentially in trouble not only with the law but, if they find out, with your spouse as well. Another problem has to do with hiding the physical objects you’ve used to spice up the affair. As you’ll soon see, you may need a very large safety deposit box or a revolving line of credit to keep buying your toys.

Places that are definitely off limits for your affair

1. Your home – I’m going to say this over and over until the thought of it makes you sick.

2. Your office – everyone in your office loves to gossip. If they catch you, it’s both marital and professional problems.

3. At the local motel – stay away from areas where people know you. What could be even more of a shock is driving into the parking lot and seeing your wifes car there.

Sex games

Turn-on your lover by turning a “bored” game into an exciting one

Strip Poker – Always fun to play. Once one of you runs out of clothes, make a sex act the penalty for every time one of you loses. Don’t make it too good, someone might start losing on purpose.

Naked Twister – If your partner makes the right moves with you under them, you’ll understand why people look up when they’re pointing to heaven.

Sexual Scrabble – Every time you spell out a word relating to sex, your lover has to do it. Too bad fellatio and cunnilingus have so many letters. Do abbreviations count?

Titillating Trivial Pursuit – Mark each special area on the gameboard with a sexual act. When you land on it, you’ll remember facts you forgot twenty years ago and get a “special piece” for being right. Talk about memory enhancement techniques.

Perverted Pictionary – In this case, if you want it you’ll have to draw it for them. It’s true a picture is worth a thousand words, but in this case I’ll be one sex act.

Is There An Affair In Your Future?

All men and women are susceptible to affairs, it examines the gripes, sexual reasons and motivating factors affecting both sexes individually and jointly.

It’s one of the world’s best kept secrets. Well, most of the time anyway. Depending on which survey you read, 15% to 90% of married people have fooled around. The fact is no one knows how much is really going on and, if you think about it, it isn’t hard to understand why. A person who has any common sense will keep their mouth shut and not let anyone know what could hurt them. Never volunteer information.

The “you know you’e ready for an affair” list

1. When every member of the opposite sex turns you on.

2. You know every sleazy motel in a ten mile radius.

3. You fantasize about someone you haven’t seen in five years.

4. Every time someone says “hello”, you see it as a come-on.

5. You ask the stud or babe at the gym if they can properly train you.

Is It Safe To Make Your Move?

The ins and outs of getting into an affair centering on a game plan, reading the other person’s potential, reactions and knowing how to deal with a proposition you receive.

The kids are driving you crazy and your husband’s never around when you need him. What started out as a seemingly perfect marriage has turned into a life of frustration tension and loneliness. You’re sex life went down the drain months ago and you’ve been thinking about an affair so much that you’ve almost asked an acquaintance out for a drink. You know it’s not a drink that you really want but something much more. Since you’ve never done this before, you’re not quite sure how to handle it. What’s do you do?

It’s been a hard day and you’re sick of the hassles your boss gives you and the ones you know you’ll have as soon as you get home. You decide to delay the inevitable and stop at a pub on the way home and after a couple of beers you notice a cute brunette at the other end of the bar. Seems that she’s also noticed you and that little look she keeps giving you is an obvious signal. Now she’s walking over and opens with the line, “Had a tough day?” Bingo! After 30 minutes of conversation, she suggests you go to her place to “relax”. What do you do?

If an affair’s in the wind, it’s smart to think ahead and plan what needs to be done to have it go smoothly. This involves working out how you’ll make your affair as inconspicuous as possible, deciding who is and isn’t off limits and what you’ll do to really enjoy it. There are of course instances where the first fling comes out of nowhere and everything’s off the cuff. But for the purposes of this discussion let’s assume it’s all being done with careful thought and safety.

The physical set-up

1. Get your own safety deposit box.

2. Get your own Post Office box.

3. Get your own checking account (non-interest bearing).

4. Stop leaving your cell phone and papers lying around.

5. Take note of general routines you keep. You may do certain things without thought but your spouse knows what they are.

The mental set-up

1. Understand exactly why you’re doing what you are.

2. Work out the guilt up front.

3. Learn to keep your mouth shut.

4. Understand what makes you tick in general.

5. Learn to be even tempered.

How Not To Get Caught Cheating

Men get caught. Women get caught. They both make mistakes. Difference in their nature leads to a contrast in the way they’ll conduct themselves in an affair and how they may get caught. It comes in most cases from the underlying psychological, emotional and genetic features of their sex. In other words if a credit card receipt is left around, there would be different reasons why it was done. The woman most likely did it out of guilt whereas the man was missing details and being sloppy.

Keep these in mind when you’re having your affair. It just might be one of these that causes you to make that costly mistake.

Your blunder will fall into one of these 3 categories.
1. Physical Evidence – hard documentation or changes in routines that are visible.
2. Emotional Clues – how you behave and conduct yourself.
3. Betrayal By Friends – I told you to keep your mouth shut!

The paper trail – pads, books & notes

We’ll start with the obvious. This includes datebooks, telephone books, memo pads, little notes on scratch paper, business cards or anything else that comes from a tree. Don’t ever write anything down that would require an explanation if seen by your spouse. No names, addresses, phone numbers, vital statistics, or a rating score on sexual abilities or preferences.

If you have a bad memory, here are a few tips on how to do it smart.

If you have to write a name in your directory, change it to something that’ll be inconspicuous. Susan Taylor can just as easily be noted as S. Taylor Associates or S & T Construction. Make the entry fit into the book. If need be, change the first name to the same sex as yours. It’ll just look like another friend or co-worker.

How you look

When you come home from a long, long day at the office, make sure you look that way. This doesn’t include being freshly showered with neat hair, smelling like a rose and coming off relaxed and satisfied. If you’re going out for a night with the guys, dress accordingly. Don’t fuss and put on your best outfit. Play the part. No new colored underwear. No high heels.

If you’re using some recreational activity as an excuse, look like you’ve really been there when you get home. Don’t take your gym clothes out of the bag and put them back into your drawer. If you’re going to act the part, then you must play the part. Don’t overlook details.

Affairs have a tendency to make you look good. If you come home glowing or extremely relaxed, you better have a good excuse ready. Men can always say they had a great workout at the gym and women can always claim they just had a facial. Always be ready to explain.

Routines and Details

Keep your routines as they were. Any changes must be done very subtly over an extended period of time. Depending on how busy you were before you got into your affair, it could be easy or hard to steal time. The quickie done on an out of town trip won’t affect your routines once you return home. The short-term affair if scheduled properly will also not be a problem. The passionate and heated affair that continues on over a long period and grows into something else, will definitely be a problem.

Before putting your mouth in gear, make sure you engage your brain. You have to constantly watch what you’re saying. One slip and it’s all over. It’s very easy over time to forget who you did what with. “Remember when we went to that restaurant”. OOPS, wrong person.

How to know you’re being watched
1. Tap your own phone. You’ll constantly be updated on what your spouse is doing to trap you.
2. When hanging up the phone, push the receiver knob down with your finger. Listen and hear how many hang-ups there are. If you hear 2, guess who’s been listening?
3. Keep your wallet and drawers neat and in a recognizable order. If someone’s been looking through them, you’ll know.
4. Place a hair on your phone or appointment book. Do it in a way that will tip you off to someone having flipped through the pages.
5. If your closets being checked you’ll want to know. Place something in a pocket that will fall out if moved. This way you’ll know if somebody’s been going through your clothes.

Have the “Perfect” Secret Affair

A final summary of what has been learned and the “essence” of what affairs are all about.

We’ve gone through many different facets of affairs and I’ve given you an honest and realistic two-sided view of both the good and the bad. Now let’s put it all together and give one last review of what are the most important facts are to remember. What you’re getting here is a “fantasy within a fantasy”. It’s an exercise in perfection where everything goes right and nothing goes wrong. Follow closely and start thinking about how you can make your affair fit as closely into this mold as possible.

The 6 commandments of affairs

1. Keep your mouth shut. It’s no ones business what’s going on.

2. The best type of an affair is the short sexual one. Try to always keep them short.

3. Make your affair an exercise in fantasy and adventure.

4. Don’t get carried away. Affairs are not relationships.

5. Remember that affairs are artificial situations designed to give optimum pleasure and fulfillment.

6. There are certain people who come with too much risk and baggage. Try to stay away or be even more careful.

Fatal Attractions

Where Affairs Go Wrong and How to Avoid Them. An overview of the different reasons that cause affairs to fizzle out.

Think about what you’ve gotten from your affair. It brings out the best of you sexually, releases tension and is exciting. Each time you meet, you know it’s going to be perfect. And therein lies the Achilles’ heel of most affairs. It’s almost impossible to keep up the passion and excitement. The affair that starts out so perfectly gets lost in the web of time. At some point the affair which began so perfectly, became normal and routine.

If you allow them to, affairs will have lives of their own. Keeping things in perspective and under control is critical. If you don’t, what transpires may be very different than what you had anticipated. Before getting into the affair it’s important to know why you’re doing it and how you expect the affair to run. Every detail must be pre-calculated or you risk discovery. If you lose control of the situation, you’re going to end up with some problems which may not be easily resolved.

There are also some questions you’d better keep asking yourself over and over. These include why you’re there and if you want to continue. If the answers start to get muddled, you need to step back and take a look at what you’re doing and why. The longer the affair runs, the harder it’s going to be to get out of it, and what started as pure enjoyment could very well turn into pure hell.

Let’s take a look at what can go wrong. Remember, it doesn’t have to be you that’s getting things mixed up. Your lover is human and is quite capable of having the same problems.

The best excuses why they can’t leave their spouse for you!

1. The kids are too young. (be patient for 15 or so years till they grow-up.)

2. My mother is in poor health and the break-up would upset her too much. (doesn’t she have medical insurance?)

3. My wife has a special birthday and I don’t want to ruin it for her. (and this is only her 38th. Imagine how special her 40th is going to be!)

4. My husbands out of work and this will devastate him more. (he can always be a limo driver at our wedding.)

5. As soon as I get my next raise, I’ll be able to afford it. (oops, I got the raise but my tax bracket went up.)

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