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When Surveillance Cameras Enter Your Bedroom and Your Intimate Affairs

Surveillance cameras have their good uses. Criminals have been caught and jailed based on undeniable video evidence, cheating spouses have been captured on film and forced to pay greater alimonies and child support for their ex-partners, and cops have been suspended for sexual harassment and physical mishandling of visitors and suspects alike. Just some of the few cases you read about that can convince you surveillance is good.

However, what do you do when surveillance cameras intrude upon your most private of private moments? How do you cope when intimate affairs are recorded in video and broadcasted for the entire Internet world to see?

How It Can Happen

Generally, surveillance cameras are used for home security and public security. You can install small and portable cameras in your house while the government sets up a surveillance system in your neighborhood ostensibly to deter crime and monitor traffic.

Imagine this scenario: Your partner transferred the cameras to your bedroom because he wants to videotape your bedroom shenanigans without your knowledge. After your bitter separation, he uploads the video over the Internet and it becomes a hit.

Or this: In the interest of adding spice to your relationship, you both agreed to place some of the wireless surveillance cameras inside your bedroom. One messy divorce later, you are faced with an Internet video showing you and your despised ex-partner in compromising positions.

Or this: Video surveillance operators across the street intersection videotaped your intimate moments for voyeuristic purposes. The same perverted individuals broadcasted the footage over the web.

In whatever way your lady parts came to be plastered all over the Internet, you must deal with the fall-out of other people’s perversions.

How to Prevent and to Cope

Of course, prevention is always better than the cure. If possible, never allow your partner to videotape your intimate bedroom encounters; never install surveillance cameras in your bedroom no matter what you do; never perform live shows where your privacy can be compromised unless you are on a deserted island; never leave the windows open in any way, either in terms of locking it and closing the drapes; and never let your private videotapes lying anywhere.

However, unfortunate scenarios such as the abovementioned do happen. How to cope boils down to:

* Doing something concrete about your plight – filing complaints and lawsuits is a good first step. You can also seek professional help and your family’s support.

* Forgetting about the past and not worrying about the future. You should take each day as it comes and live for the joys of the present. Learn to appreciate the small things in your life now – your ex-partner is paying you sums of money for alimony and for his bastardization of your relationship, your perverted voyeurs of local public officials are in jail, and you are alive.

* Moving on. If this means that you have to do something drastic like changing your place of residence or something mild like changing your hairstyle, then go for it. Just always remember that life must go on, you were a victim but you cannot be a victim forever, and that it is other people’s problems if they see you as anything less than the worthy person that you are.

In the end, your life should never be ruled by one mistake brought by man’s inappropriate use of surveillance cameras. Life is yours, take it!

For more information on how to properly use video surveillance equipment like wireless security cameras and surveillance cameras, visit Video-Surveillance-Guide.com today!

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Secret Affairs: Sex After Infidelity

Secret affairs can ruin a marriage, but more often than not, they are not a relationship killer. In fact, 82% of marriages affected by an affair actually have happier couples after the affair. The reason is that the affair reveals that something is wrong in the relationship, and most couples want to correct the problems.

While recovering from a secret affair isn’t easy, you can live a happy life with your spouse after the trauma. Among the many things that people need to work on after finding out about a secret affair is how to have sex after infidelity.

This question comes up often from a lot of people. They are trying to work things out, but they just don’t feel right having sex after infidelity. There is a lot of work that needs to go into solving this huge problem, but with the right tools, you can have sex after revealing an affair.

Not being able to resolve this issue can be a relationship killer. Both spouses have to understand the severity and sensitivity of the issue, and know that it may be a long time before you are able to be intimate with your partner again.

Often times the victim in the affair feels as though the reason for the affair is that their spouse was no longer sexually attractive to them any longer. This isn’t always the case. In fact, M. Gary Neuman’s study shows that most men who cheat, in fact cheat with someone they believe to be less attractive than their wife.

Another reason that make this difficult is when the victimized spouse feels that it is lack of performance that caused the affair. It is rare when an affair is caused by lack of performance, but in certain circumstnaces it can be the case.

In the quest for sexual excitement, many people turn to sex books for help. While some books can be good and truly add some excitement, they all focus on the wrong thing. They tell you to change the way you have sex. The true pleasure of sex comes when we are in love with a person, and they are in love with us. With that, you will find total sexual satisfaction. You allow your emotions to take over, and you don’t focus on the physical aspects of sex.

If you have a spouse who loves you, and you combine that love with sex, you will enjoy what many believe to be the ultimate intimate experience; sexual love. This can only be experienced in relationships where the lovers are good friends, know each other’s thoughts, and want to be around each other. Work on being good friends, building trust, and constantly falling in love with your partner and you will experience sexual joy like no other.

One of the hardest things about having sex after an affair is that the victimized spouse is constantly thinking about the cheating spouse and the paramour (illicit lover). They want to know that your attention is on them, not the paramour. You have to be able to communicate to your partner the way you feel, and be able to accept those feelings. There is going to be a strong presence, that while not there in a physical nature, does exist and carries over to the both of you. That presence is the paramour.

An affair will bring about many insecurities, one of them being sexual insecurity. When one or both spouses are sexually insecure, it removes spontaneity from the act, and thus becomes a planned and monotonous, and will lead to boredom and lack of production. When you are finally able to establish intimacy with your partner, there is immense pressure to make up for those insecurities. That is when sex becomes what it never should be, a performance.

When these problems occur, you have to let your partner know that you are constantly comparing yourself to the paramour, and that it is getting in the way of the openness and trust between the two of you. By keeping this communication open, you are able to replace negative feelings with positive one’s, making for a more enjoyable, trusting, and love-able sexual relationship.

It’s also critical not to impose sexual expectations on your partner. It is important to communicate, but to “expect” an orgasm, for instance, is unfair. Dr. Ronnie Edell calls an orgasm “the equivalent of an applause”. It makes the experience feel like a performance, and is sure to lessen sexual pleasure.

An orgasm should never be about, “How did I do?”, or “Now I’m satisfied”. Sex should never be about the orgasm. The orgasm is simply a byproduct of sex. The essence of sex is ‘mutual pleasure’. That is the goal you should be trying to achieve, and focusing on an orgasm, or anything else for that matter, will deprive both of you of the mutual pleasure you should be experiencing.

The essence of sex after infidelity is to re-create the trust you once had, and learn to be more open about your feelings. It is wrong to impose sexual expectations on yourself or your partner. Focus on sex being a free, trusting, emotional experience and you will be having passionate sex with your partner again.

If you feel like you have a cheating spouse then visit our site to help with recovering from an affair.

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